We sat around all this weekend talking about the steps, the mechanics of it, and how it works, what doesn’t work, what does, and what we think is correct is and the right approach. or an intense approach or you know is there a weak approach of medium approach a strong approach. But what if I’m a new guy, what happens now? What happens to me is that I just wander in and they don’t tell me, “Go here these people are better.” They just say, “Go to meetings.” So I go to meetings and what happens? What’s the journey you talk about in 1985 when I got awakened what a remarkable experience? Some years later I was sitting with a friend of mine who got involved with this Indian guru and he says, “Why don’t you come with me to see this guy? He’s giving a talk and we can hang out spend the afternoon together.” He was a nice guy and I was really intrigued by all this. When I went, I was sitting in the room with this guru, and at one point he started laughing at me.
I said, “What are you laughing at?” He goes, “I just love you alcoholics and drug addicts. Instead of pretending to be super spiritual like the rest of them trying to get awakened, you are just trying to figure out what the hell happened!” He says, “You are already awakened, you just do not know it.” Yeah, I believe that we’ve been awakened. I think it’s remarkable, and we call it God’s grace. Something touched us; something very special, something that shouldn’t be squandered. In the rest of the journey, we take that awakening and turn it into some kind of awareness, and we’re actually conscious of the fact that we’re awake. Then we can do something with that. We can really focus on it, and look at it, and watch ourselves move through life.
Earlier this week we were talking about the six and seven step character defects of how they get addressed. What happens? Well, you know functionally how does it work? Is it just prayer and meditation? We talk about finding a higher power that will solve our problems. How functionally does that work? When you and I started drinking and or using, we stopped growing emotionally. We just stopped. We missed all the lessons and we never learned how to have healthy relationships. We’ve never really had a broken heart. We just got really pissed when somebody didn’t do what we wanted them to do. We mistake these outbursts and feelings as some sort of an emotional life. You know, it’s either rage or euphoria. It means that there is very little middle ground. Now that we’re sober we’re going to have to live through the experiences again. You cannot speed that process up, but you can definitely slow it down by picking and choosing what you will and won’t do.
One of the most spiritual things said Alcoholics Anonymous is, “Get in the car, just get in the car.” Well, where are we going? “Just get in the car.” For some reason, I got in the car. When I was new and I got in the car and began going to meetings, I guess I got intrigued with you right away. I’m one of the lucky ones. I’ve always liked it here in AA. Always, even when I struggled against it. Heck, the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous is something to be survived; this is the character defect center of the known universe! So I need something more than that. I need the process of the 12 steps so that I will find a power greater than myself that will solve my problems.