I remember when I was new, someone said to me “Think through the drink.” So I said, “Okay, lets go get one!” Are you kidding me? This was not a solution. However, we have a book called Alcoholics Anonymous. I’m powerless in it. I can’t get the necessary power no matter where I go or what I read. I could even have the book memorized but I will not have a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps unless I work them. See, I’m an alcoholic. My type is like you. I’m going to drink or do something worse.
I remember one night I had what they call a moment of clarity, or a moment of sanity. A friend named Charlie said something very profound. He said that the moments of clarity are when God paralyzes the liar and you long enough for you to see the truth. I remember one of mine; it was a moment where I thought “Ken if you don’t stop drinking, you’re going to die. You better get some help. You can’t do it by yourself. You also better do it now because you’re running out of time just like Dad.” Thank God for moments like these. I’m a great believer in the power of prayer. I believe I always prayed in here. I had given up on it because of where my alcoholism took me. See, when you give up on God and prayer it is a place called cold-blooded, cold-hearted indifference. I no longer cared. I could look you in the eye and tell you quite frankly that I could care less if you live or die, just stay out of my way.
My mother said I had the most negative aura of any human being she’d ever seen. She said, “When you walk into a room the lights dim.” That is the kind of person I was when I came in to these rooms. So for once, I had this moment of clarity, and I went and I picked up the phone, and I called the guy that was my best drinking buddy in college; he’s a doctor today. I called him and told him I needed help and this is what he said to me, “I’ve been waiting for this call for seven or eight years. Pack up, pay stay by the phone. I gotcha.” When I myself get a call from the Central Office at 3 o’clock in the morning, you know what I tell them don’t you? The very same thing he said to me. Pack up, stay by the phone, I gotcha. And for that, I am responsible.
Odomtology’s note: Being there for others who are in need is one of the foundational principles of the twelve step philosophy. Every single clean or sober member of any fellowship owes a debt of gratitude to those that were there before, who paved the way for recovery for so many of us. It is important to remember that in most cases, a first step did not begin on its own, it began with someone else’s twelfth step. All over the world, alcoholics and addicts are connecting with each other, showing their fellow sufferer the way out. Even though these stories are common, it is okay to stand back in amazement and gratitude at each mentioning of the hand of help being extended.