Home Alcoholics Anonymous Sandy B. – AA Speaker – God is in our Character defects

Sandy B. – AA Speaker – God is in our Character defects

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So one month after I moved to Tampa I was friends and I think it was three couples who invited me to go to a show. They had an extra ticket to a theater in the round thing in downtown Tampa. When I got there there were rows of seats up around the stage. This venue was one where the seating arrangements were that you just picked whatever seat you wanted. The couples were at the concession stand and they were going to go get cokes and something to drink. I said, “Give me your coat and I’ll save seven seats in a row.” So I went over and put the coats down, and pretty soon two couples came along and the guys started moving the coats I had laid down.

Okay, so me and this guy are off to a bad start. So I said, “Hey, these seats are for the people I am with.” He said, “There’s no reserved seats. You can’t reserve any seats.” I say, “I understand that they’re standing right there at the concession stand. They’re here already, it’s not like I’m waiting to see if they are going to show up.” Finally his wife and the other couple talked him out of taking the seats. So then sat in the next row up and he’s was right behind me. He is back there groaning and mumbling. At this point, my friends come back didn’t know anything about this. They have no clue. They sit down next to me.

As this guy is mumbling I am starting to get angry. The guy keeps it up and it was way more outrageous, I turn around and tell him angrily to stop. Then I felt his behavior was worthy of more than just one tongue lashing. I’m waiting for intermission to give him a piece of my mind. Then I stop, I pause. The madder I got, the more I felt about making amends to the man. It really helps to just think you’re going to go up to that guy during the intermission you’re going to tell him you’re sorry. It helped melt the anger away. So the intermission comes and I’m looking to see where they are. He has his back to me and his wife and the other couple can see me coming up toward them. They were very kind of frightened as I tapped him on the shoulder to turn around. I said, “I’m so sorry for my behavior. I hope you have a good show all around.” Then he said, “I’m the one that was wrong.” At that moment my animosity and anger disappeared. But still, that loss of control. I had a hangover from it until the next day. I just felt awful. I just don’t like to get there so. Fortunately, it’s a rare occasion for me.

I prayed though. If God is everything, He is in my character defects. If God is everything and I believe that God is part of everything, He exists beyond my ability to know him yet I can also feel contact with Him. So there’s two levels of existence that I sense is there. He’s part of everything, but is also beyond everything simultaneously; that has just been my sense. You could look at it this way, the character defect is that separation from God. So he has to be part of the equation. It’s not separate from something else. So his existence is necessary in order to have a character defect. So you can see that there is a connection there.

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