Choosing to seek additional help outside of AA and your sober support group is wise. Especially if you feel you have some emotional issues that you need professional assistance with. You may feel like you are doing everything right, you have a sober network, you attend AA meetings regularly and you have a sponsor who you seek guidance from, but there is still that ache in your heart. There is more pain that resonates deep inside. Maybe issues from your childhood or things that have happened to you while in active addiction. Deep rooted issues that you carry around with you like a bag of jagged rocks.
Your sober group will help guide you through sobriety, how to continue on after you put the drink or the drug down, what books to read, what groups to attend, what speakers to listen to, all things related to staying sober. But what about emotional issues like anger, depression, and anxiety. Things like childhood trauma, abusive relationships, feelings of abandonment, lack of self esteem or self worth. If inside of you, you feel there is more than needs to surface, I suggest seeking professional help.
Your sober but you still have all the problems you did prior to starting your use. You may need to resurrect some dark murky soot that remains at the bottom of your being. For some this may be terrifying. You may recover some truly ugly truths and I highly suggest you do this with a trained professional.
It took me three years into my sobriety to understand that I needed more help. I needed help in figuring out why I had all this anger, why I lacked in self esteem and why my abandonment issues tormented all of my personal relationships. Where did these all come from, what happened to me. Alcohol and addiction are only a symptom, the real problem lies within you. You must find it or you may walking a thin line of life or death.
Therapy completely changed my life. My sobriety became stronger, I found out who I was. What happened to me and what I chose to do about it. I drank, I did drugs, all these things combined suffocated all of my emotions. We all chose to push emotions and in my opinion that is the core of most addiction. You must conquer this to succeed.
My therapist became my soul mate and not the soul mate you think of. I read once that a soul mate is someone who shows you everything that is holding you back. That their purpose is to tear apart your ego, show you your obstacles and break your heart open so the real you can push through. That to me is what constitutes a soul mate and my therapist became my soul mate, she performed an exorcism on my soul. Sobriety is the unbecoming, the quest to find anyone and everything that fills your soul. Therapy and sobriety together, are painfully beautiful.
Today, I have insight, I know who I am. All I ever wanted was to become my true self, to unmask and become a genuine person. I know what makes me happy, what makes me sad or angry and I know what situations I need to stay away from. I allow myself to be selfish in choosing that. You have already sought out recovery, now is the time to search for yourself.